Out of Touch with Reality

wickedstarlite @ 2009-08-30T10:43:00

2009-08-30T18:06:08Z

So my dad calls me yesterday, and kinda sorta drops a bomb. Hes done with retail (which he should be) and he wants to do something else with his life. Apparently hes only 15 credits away from getting his associates in Psychology/Sociology. and that in itself was weird, I mean i knew he had gone to community college but for some reason i thought he studied communications or something super generic like that, but my dad the psychologist? yeah no...that never crossed my mind.
so he wants to go back to school, get his degree and then become a counselor for kids with drug problems....no offense but what the fuck?
i know what your thinking he wants to go and save these kids from living a life like his but you dont know my dad. and while there is a possibility that he has some of that intention im really afraid its more of a "i know more than you do and you're lifes all fucked up and I'm going to save you". hes putting himself on a pedestal and he cant first of all because he wont get through to anyone and secondly he has NO RIGHT to be on that pedestal. in fact if anything those kids are better than he is because they have nothing to loose. They wont loose their wife, the respect of their kids, their own home! and while they may be forced to live on their friends couch, or live off of unemployment because they pissed off their boss so badly that he fired them, they wont be almost fucking 50! not to mention they wont have to worry about how their going to help pay for their daughters school and car and son. i know it sounds selfish but i dont care, my mom does everything for us and my dad does jack shit, and the worst part is, is he says that he wants to be there that he wants to support us but hes the one who gets himself in these shitty situations that he cant get himself out of!

you know most people who go into psychology and counselling are trying to figure out things for themselves, and im sorry you cant use people like that, especially kids who are trying to better their lives and leave thier addiction. they wont respect you and you'll get nothing out of it.

sorry to vent, i dont mean to another fucking girl with daddy issues but sometimes i can't help it. my dad fucked up my life...and im not as close as i thought i was to getting over it.

guys are retarded

2009-07-16T08:00:35Z

just another example of my wonderful insight not to mention my amazing ability with words.
oh btw some of the names have been just because im paranoid like that

toms with sam
michael, that is mike r., has probably forgotten my face
and jay just sent me a friend request featuring a lovely picture of him and his girlfriend
oh and w....hit on my mom

of course there are contraries to all those...contraries is so not the right word....

toms a douche and ive decided that having a friend thats a douche isnt nearly as painful as having someone whos more than a friend...and is a douche
mike was only in my life for....3 months? and as crazy as those months were they were way too brief to dwell on...but you know if i just happen to be in fullerton and i just happen to run into him then....he still wont recognize me....so it wont really matter
i denied jays friend request
w. has so many issues that im not even going to touch...most of them have to do with the fact that hes a teenage boy... plus i used him as much as he used me and there are really no hard feelings

oh and my moms not going to talk to him anymore

in conclusion...

guys are retarded

So I've decided....

2009-01-25T08:24:11Z

i don't want kids. Being an aunt just rocks way too much. I think I can be content with that. Especially if all of my friends end up having kids. Obviously i may change my mind in the future, but as of now I just want to be an aunt.

I've also decided i dont really want to get married....but thats a whole other story :)

Random Memory # i dont even know anymore.

2008-12-27T20:08:57Z

so in the third grade we were told to bring our favorite book into class where we would all take a vote and whoevers book won we would read and discuss it in class. so i was the only one who actually brought a book in. The Rainbow Kid, a book my cousin had gave me. it was old even back then and the cover was all worn and for third grade it was kinda thick (of course this is all from memory). so just in case no one brought any books our teacher (Miss Rashford...best teacher ever) had her own book the class could vote on. James and the Giant Peach. The book was new, and shiney with pictures and talking insects, plus the movie had just came out so everyone pretty much new what it was about. im almost positive the rainbow kid was about a girl who parents were going through a divorice and the only outlet she had was a book that she drew rainbows on. kind of depressing...and definitely no talking insects. so everyone sat down and we all had a vote. guess which book won?

i was in tears! so much so that i immediately ran to the bathroom in front of everyone. Miss Rashford of course followed after me. I told her it wasnt fair that everyone just voted for James because they had seen the movie and they didnt even give my book a chance, and blah blah blah. so to get me to calm down she said she'd have the class vote again. this time the class voted for my book.

i cried. again. probably not as hard as the first time but there were definitely tears. i knew even back then that it was a pity vote and that no one really wanted to read my book. so i told them to just read james and the giant peach and i spent the rest of class in the bathroom.

its so weird how stuff like that still effects me. if we watch a movie together thats one of my favorites and you dont absolutely love it, i dont burst into tears but i do kinda offence. same kinda goes for music. which is retarded right? i mean you cant argue opinon! and then when you do fall in love with one of my favorites i get so excited! like overly excited.

so there it is. i just was kind of thinking about it since i brought a ton of my movies down with me to socal and have been watching a few with my family, and then i remembered the whole rainbow kid fiasco. debacle. i dont know i like both of those words. plus now im trying to get all of my friends to drive out to LA with me to see the room..which has been difficult. why do i have so many friends that absolutely hate leaving their comfort zones? like they literally start to freak out. they would so much rather go to regal and starbucks or just sit around drinking and watching movies on tv than actually going out and having new experiences? and the ones that do love to try new things are so flakey i just stopped inviting them alltogether. so whatever, we'll see.

i really need to get dressed and out of this bed....

this sucks

2008-11-25T01:27:44Z

so i packed up my room today...

yeah

i dont know. im sure what i was expecting. but im retarded and i cant let anything just happen...it has to be momentous. this...wasnt. well first off no one showed up. hardest freaking day of my life (and apparently when i said momentous i also meant overdramatic) but do my friends give a crap? no...not really. of course these are the friends that all still live with their parents. maybe theyll understand when they have to move out. or maybe not yo no se. so i packed for about an hour and then i couldnt do anymore. most of it i got done though. i took all the stuff down from the walls and off of the shelves, just the closet needs to be done

it sucks because the one person i wanted to be there, wasn't. which isnt entirely their fault...since i didnt invite them. i hate it, i wish i could get over the idea that talking to them is going to make me feel better. because whenever i do i never feel better. quite the opposite really. ok, i have more wallowing to do but i have to go to the airport.

fun times my friends....fun times....

2008-07-28T17:56:15Z

so ive been home a little over twenty four hours now and already ive cried twice. yesterday was really really weird. i realized something that i hate myself for realizing because it makes me sound like a complete psycho! and im not a psycho (honestly as odd as these lj's turn out to be) i just got to the point yesterday that but of course instead of accepting it and moving on, i rejected it. I always felt that you cant help who you fall in love with. which is why people fall for people of the same sex, drug addicts (not to equate the two at all!), people who abuse them, people that they would never expect to be in love with because you just cant help it sometimes. however, people who are sane, who have some respect for themselves will get themselves out of horrible situations like in the last two examples (or like i did). but that doesn't change how you felt about that person and it makes it that much hard to get out. now i know how this is sounding and dont worry im not talking about the person who you may think im talking about. but i think falling in love with someone who doesn't know you exist (or does know you exist just doesnt find any significance in your presence) is just as bad. it just doesn't happen! maybe if its just a crush...or maybe if you're in junior high but out in the real world? its completely pathetic, and i dont really like feeling pathetic. but i realized i was in that situation yesterday and i hated myself for it. Now, my friend Canae has a different way of thinking. she feels that when she feels herself falling she takes a step back and examines the situation and if she feels that the consequences are too great then she stops herself from falling in love. ive only done that once and im really glad i did but ive never really felt the need to do it again. but as i was driving home from the maverick yesterday tears literally running down my cheeks i decided that my philosophy comes with a lot more broken hearts and that maybe it was time to adopt Canae's. so i completely shut myself off from it. all of it. and i went on with the rest of my day.

story's not over.

so my house is full of people right now. my mom, my sister, josh her baby daddy, and my moms friend who is staying with us until she finds another place to stay. now this friend is a psychic friend. and not only is she psychic but she can channel the dead. so last night chelsea texts me and wants me to meet her at applebees. so i go looking for my mom and i knock on her door and she opens it a crack and says "she's channeling mom (my nana) come in" yeah the whole what the fuck youre thinking right now i was thinking the exact same thing. now ive found that having a pregnant sister, two psychic parents, and a dead grandmother, has forced me to become the rational one of the family. its not that i dont believe in all that stuff its just...someone has to be the skeptic and i dont mind filling that role. so i walk into the room and my moms friend is lying on her back and my mom says "mom, chandra and krystal are here" and she starts talking. now some things she says dont really sound like anything my nana would ever say, but there are a few inflections and phrases that i know are hers, so i stand and listen and she talks and talks and talks. she says shes going to bring someone into my life who will love me and that i will have a family (but not too soon she adds..thank you god) and all that hopeful stuff. and then she starts talking about love. and not to be afraid of it, and never close yourself off from any of it. its classic stuff but for some reason because of the events of earlier, and because it was coming from my dead grandmother, it gets to me, i got out of that room and into my car and i started to ball my eyes out. it was really weird, ive never really cried like that before. so here i sit now not knowing quite what to do. i guess basically ill compromise. close myself off to the past but leave myself open for the future. god, i sound like a nut job.

but yeah..thats been my vacation so far. but dont worry i plan to get drunk and hang out with friends and go to movies and all the other NORMAL stuff that ones supposed to do on vacation from here on out.

p.s. leah if you're reading this i know you know who im talking about....please dont think less of me

so i did something pretty stupid....

2008-06-17T22:57:10Z

my friend lauren got a gig as a stage manager for this theater company in the city which is awesome for her! like most theatre people if she had the chance of going out into the real world and getting a "normal job" or getting paid a little less for theatre shes going to choose theatre. so she facebooks me the other day asking if i wanted to do her lights. i assumed she meant be her board op so i told her about calshakes and that i just didnt have time. but if she wanted me to help with the hang or anything that i would. so she calls me yesterday, we talk for a few minutes and then i hang up...not only agreeing to do the hang....but also DESIGN THE ENTIRE SHOW now for the past three weeks i have been working seven days a week going back and forth between starbucks and calshakes. ive been exhausted so much so that i asked shelly if i could have mondays off so i'd at least have one day off a week (calshakes has shows (at least the ones i have to be at) from tuesday to saturday). so clearly in this type of situation the logical thing to do would be to take on more work! and not even a normal job where you show up work and then just go home. theres so much paper work, and just time and energy that i seem to be lacking these past couple of weeks.

not only that but IVE NEVER ACTUALLY DESIGNED A SHOW BEFORE! i mean i've built cue, and i did a practice light plot but thats it! and its not that i dont know the first thing about designing. ive taken two lighting classes, i've worked with at least two designers from practically start to finish but im one of those persons who basically relies on experience to build her self confidence...and theres no way i have enough.

ive never been to the space before, i dont know what the shows about, i have absolutely no idea what their inventory is, hell i dont even know if they have a master electrician on staff that could actually tell me these things. and oh yeah...the hang is July 3rd.

I'm crazy right? Im completely done for! what was i thinking!?

but you have to understand. this is what i want to do in theatre. its not like the spot op gig at calshakes where its kinda sorta in the same feild....this is it! and i feel like i pass up an opprotunity like this just because i'm scared, and maybe i'll have to go a couple days without sleep i'm just being completely stupid. im not always going to have the luxury of learning by doing it a thousand times until i get it completely perfect. sometimes i just have to let myself get thrown into the fire and believe that i'll be able to not only get myself out but turn it into something beautiful at the same time. designers are such whores. its the biggest ego boost in the world to watch something you've created on stage surrounded by people applauding. even if you're not up there if you've put yourself into your work you totally feel like their applauding you. its one of the most awesome feelings ever!

so needless to say, i'm taking the job (did i mention it pays?) and i'm just going to pray that God gives me the strength and inspiration to do it well. and if it crashes and burns, oh well. i took a shot right?

its time like these....

2008-01-26T08:34:53Z

i wanted to take my letters. but then i thought why? theres no reason to take them. they'll just become clutter and my rooms so small. and then i thought well then why did i even keep them in the first place? i walked out of my room before these thoughts forced me to throw them all out. cause i knew id regret that. maybe not right then, but some where down the road....

i wish i had them right now.

i know why i keep them. at least why i need them right now. because not only do they let me reminisce or whatever, and remind me of what was going on when the letter was written but they remind me of what ther person was like when they wrote it.

cause they certainly arent the same person they are today.

not completely anyway.

what the hell happened? who convinced her that...even in this day and age. denying God is a big thing. what the hell happened!?!

little realization today

2008-01-07T09:01:21Z

so something happens. well usually a couple things happen. in a row and close together. enough for you to take notice. and even though u do notice you dont really think anything of it. some of these things were mistakes and u realize that but whatever life is about making mistakes and learning from them and all that crap. so you move on. and then someone says something. it could be a joke, they could not mean it at all but for some reason it sticks with you. its the pain in your side that isnt sharp enough for you to complain about but painful enough to let you know its there and doesnt plan on going away. and then it hits you. and you freak out. you aren't this. you dont do these things. theres a reason why this is happening and for the life of you, you cant figure out what it is.

but sooner or later you do. and you kinda wish you hadn't.

its hard to admit that people have impacts on your life without your consent. you want to yell at them. and scream "you made me this way!" and "i never wanted to be like this and look at me!"

but then you're just back to blaming other people.

you dont have to read this

2008-01-01T04:19:08Z

not that very many do....livejournals a dying art if you can really call it an art, the point is i'm going to be rambling and jumping subjects like crazy not to mention horrible grammar and spelling errors so if you do happen to come across this which if you're reading this obviously you already have just know. you dont have to read this.
see what i mean? im only a few sentences in and already ive used the word this like twenty times. and now im over exagerating.

let me start actually start by saying this. im two different people. ok maybe im several different people but two in particular. i was watching greys anatomy today and it gets to this really emotional part that they have in every episode, and my mom who kept coming in and out started crying. like literally tearing up. and i started to get really annoyed with her. its a tv show! a really cheesy but quite entertatining tv show. its not real. it's all make believe. the people who die on the show didnt die in real life. they're actors. and then in my head i started going on this rant. guess what? bambi isnt real either! and if bambi isnt real then that means that bambis mother isnt real which then means that when she died....what does it matter. real people die everyday. for gods sake animals die every day. those people matter. those animal matter. those are actual lives. and when they're gone, it means something.

thats one of me.

but im also a writer. my whole job, goal is to make people care about my make believe people, about their make believe lives. so that if they die it also means something. so how can i be so annoyed with people showing emotion? i've had a few people read my stuff. let me rephrase that. i watched a few people read my stuff. and you know that if they read it straight through and you hear nothing, notice nothing on their face. if they dont laugh at the right places, or anything then you've failed. so why do i get annoyed when people show emotion.

because im two different people. im the girl who knows that santa doesnt exist in person but believes that the spirit of santa claus lives with parents and that when they give you gifts on christmas and stuff your stockings they're doing it not just because they love you but also because of a fat guy in a red suit with a white beard. im the girl who believes in signs. who made her mom call her psychic best friend before she signed the lease to her apartment. but im also the girl when her father tells her that he has psychic abilities it takes every amount of energy she has not to laugh in his face. im the hopeless romantic who cant stand the guy thats writing her a song on his guitar. or the guy who wants to sex her on his living room couch. who instead longs for a certain fullerton techie who barely even knows she exists!

tonights the last night of 2007. tonights the night people think of resloutions to make the new year better than the last one. to make themselves better. like they're somehow magically going to change because their callendar does. this is who i am. and i dont expect that to change anytime soon.

i guess im done. at least for now.

life is funny.....

2007-11-24T17:39:03Z

There are as many nights as days, and the one is just as long as the other in the year's course. Even a happy life cannot be without a measure of darkness, and the word 'happy' would lose its meaning if it were not balanced by sadness.

hello theme of my screenplay! and how are you doing today?

that little quote totally knocked me on my ass this week. its so funny because tuesday night i'm driving to rehearsal and i'm listening to i dont remember what song but one i know i really like and i'm thinking about what tonight will be like and how much i really enjoy working in the fullcoll theater department and then i start thinking about my job and how i've really come to like that and just everything and i said (literally i quote) "I like my life right now, I'm happy" See i've been struggling with whether or not i really wanted to go back up to san francisco. i mean i wouldnt be going to state i'd be going to city college so whats the point when i can just continue going to a junior college down here? and if i'm going to be in film shouldnt i stay as close to hollywood as possible? that kind of thing. although honestly whats really been making me rethink my whole plan, whats just sitting there in the back of my mind poking with a stick everytime i get excited about going back up there? it was so hard living on my own having to deal with school, having to deal with work, having to deal with paying bills, and trying to be sociable because making new friends is so important, and fitting in and getting used to new surroundings....

etc

etc

etc

i didnt know if i wanted to put myself through all that again. So i'm sitting there in my car and mentally i pretty much make the deciscion to stay.

"i like my life right now. I''m happy."

i should have never said those words.

rehearsal went fine, actually except for the hog being "kind of a bitch" we were making progress. and then the last 10 seconds of the night, i get pissed off at mike for something i realize now i made way to big of a deal of and the whole rest of the night i'm in a crappy mood. so of course i wake up the same way. i drive to school to find tje campus closed which normally would have been great except it totally through off my day. paullette calls and says she doesnt need me anymore so theres another 50 bucks i've lost.

i get in a car accident

my first one ever. and its not even in my car! i have to use my moms car when i go babysit luke because i cant put the car seat in the front seat with me, so of course i was in her car. now the hood wont open the grill is gone and the insurance is going to hit the roof. worked sucked because everyone was in a horrible mood

apparently god doesn't want me to stay in socal.

so i filled out the application for CCSF and i got accepted. i'm leaving for sure now.

and i guess its for the best.

jesus

2007-09-19T20:58:14Z

the guys an idiot but still....thats just disturbing.

god i loved spotting this guy......

2007-08-03T03:26:46Z

*melts*

ick

2007-05-06T00:59:16Z

i never ever want to be that close to Andy Dick's dick ever again......

"my name is adam but everyone calls me jaws"

2007-03-04T19:13:26Z

"..........because you suck dick?"
"no, no. when i was younger i was 6 feet tall and had braces, and my friend was obsessed with james bond so he called me jaws."
"and you sucked his dick!"

sorry...my sister bought me an evening with kevin smith for my birthday and (much like all kevin smith movies) i'm in the process of watching it about 50 times. and to my shock and horror when i opened up the case the london disc was missing! so all i've been able to watch is toronto! and!.....anyway

so yes my bithday was last wednesday and despite what i had earlier envisioned the night before, i had a pretty awesome time. i love birthdays, truly i do. they just make you feel so speacial you know? i got so many calls from people i havent talked to in weeks! years even! and that always makes you feel good. its like "huh people actually still think about me down there." which sounds horrible, but when you're so far away...you cant help but wonder.

lets see...what else is new....

i got a job! which i'm totally stoked about, not really because of the job itself but because i did the numbers and i'll actually be financially stable for the next few months. if i dont spend money like crazy....which will be difficult! but rent is covered, dues are covered, mindi may even be covered, and maybe i'll be able to start saving for new york....... : )

i cut my hair! well...actually lauren cut my hair, so guess what? curly hair chandra has returned! with highlights! that she really didnt ask for! she wanted red! and she got blonde! damn hairdresser.....but everyone seems to like it (except for patches...but hes a douche) so whatever.

nothing else new to report i suppose....i hate singing Poulanc. i love singing french. espeacially o nuit.

and now i gotta start getting ready for work!

: )

Karaoke for the hearing impaired.....

2007-02-16T21:59:58Z

nate has WAY too much free time on his hands....

: )

cynthias attempt to motivate me...

2007-02-16T04:40:30Z

"study study study! cause whatever you decide to be when you grow up, better be something that benefits me in some way." -- my best friend, cynthia martinez

:)

Valentines Day.....

2007-02-15T16:47:57Z

do you believe in love or the art of persuasion?

:)

so thats why their flag is a rainbow.....

2007-02-06T03:56:52Z

homosexuality....oops i mean human sexuality class was really interesting today. lol, no i really dont blame my professor. he's right, its just like how ethnic studies is more focused on people of color, and how gender studies is mostly centered around women. its just what people tend to write about. and i wasn't lying before, it is all really interesting. so i'm not complaining.
oooo! ok so here's something i found really incredibly interesting and you may not find it interesting at all but i'm going to tell you anyways because....well mostly because i have some time to kill before how i met your mother starts. ok so picture these two vendiagrams (two clusters of three circles) one representing men and the other representing women. so in this study they divided up the vendiagram into three categories homosexuality desire, identity, and behavior. now check out these percentages. for women 59 percent had the desire, but did not identify themselves as lesbian (or bisexual for that matter), or engage in same sex sexual contact. for men, it was 44 percent. see that was strange for me, because i always had the notion that men were more repressed in that area than women but apparently not as much as i thought. Also, 6 percent of men had the desire and behavior opposed to women who had 13 percent. but! while only 15 percent of women had the sexual desire, behavior and identification (all three)...men had 24 percent. AND! 0 percent of women identified themselves as homosexual without either the desire or the behavior, and......2 percent of men did the same! i know thats not a huge significant amount, but compared to 0...its at least something. and it totally makes me laugh because i can just picture the interviewer asking the women in this study, and them just responding,
"umm...no. i have no desire to have sex with women...and i only have sex with men, so why would i call myself a lesbian?"
and the men on the otherhand saying,
"yes, i am a homosexual."
"but...you just told me that you have no desire to sleep with other men, and you only sleep with women..."
"......." awkward silece
now i'm sure there other factors involved such as prostitution, and rape (btw more men had homosexual contact without desire, than women) but still...some of those percentages really suprised me. i guess, it just makes you think about society's views on lesbians versus gays, cause i'm positive that had a huge influence on these numbers.

ok i'm done, class dismissed.

:)

Kind of a random memory.....

2006-11-13T23:51:41Z

"Great... But, I have a sore neck from banging the crap out of a girl this morning."
- Topher Mauerhan, responding to, "Hey!! How are you??" That's ALL I asked and look at the information I received in return

quote from jamies quotes page.....

*cringe*

dont get involved in community theatre. cause then you end up making friends who make friends who make friends and one way or another you find out something about someone you really didnt want to know. its weird how people get connected to other people. you'll be telling someone a story and all of a sudden they're like "wait a minute! you know [insert name here]? no way! i did [insert show here] with them! did you know that [insert possibly embarassing story here]" i mean i know it happens in other situations/professions but theater's what i've been exposed to the most so....yeah. its what i can relate to.

i have other examples (like what someone did or wanted to do at a certain wedding reception.....ok that one was actually really funny) but i'm gonna keep them to myself.

but really the quote was a bad example. he used to tell me stuff like that all the time.

he's just that kind of guy.....

: )

p.s. - i was kidding about not getting involved with communtiy theatre!! do it!!!!

yay!!!!!

2006-11-12T21:27:59Z

i'm going to not so silent night!!!!!! i'm sooooo stoked you dont even know! when i heard about it i almost started hyperventilated, no joke. here's the line up:

the shins
silversun pickups
the raconteurs
modest mouse
and the killers
...
so if you know me at all, you know that this is like....my dream concert (yes even with the raconteurs....im actually starting to like them! and as long as jack white doesnt sing the entire set, i'll be fine) its so beautiful! i was so bummed when the wolfmother/silversun pickups show sold out but now i still get to see s.p.! yay! and the shins? the shins are going to be amazing. i have no doubt in my mind. AND MODEST FREAKIN' MOUSE! thats when i started hyperventilating. i've been wanting to see them live for so long. the killers i'm very interested to see. they were pretty good at kroq's weenie roast, but i havent heard their new cd so i dont know what to expect. although standifer says that "they've grown a lot." lol, i love when chelsea says stuff like that. and guess what? my sisters coming up to go see it with me! (lauren, sam and tiffany all decided to go see all american rejects instead. loosers! although i think me being the only one that choose this concert makes me the looser....oh well! i dont care!) i cant wait for december 8th!!!!

ok so know i'm gushing....and i realize its really annoying when i gush. so i'll stop.

: D (x50)

hmmm....

2006-10-21T01:38:58Z

secret machines concert tonight...that i am not going to. and why you ask? because i am broke. like absolutely broke. so instead i'm going to another toga party. life could be worse right? i saw marie antionette today :). yeah i forfitted a few meals to see that one. well i'm sorry but i have wanted to see that movie since july...or even june! but dont i'm getting a paycheck next week for my off campus job and another big one on the 15th for my on campus job. it was so weird though, because when i first saw the trailer i remember thinking....wow, it comes out in october! i'll be in college by then....which means i'll probably be seeing it in san francisco......i wonder who i'll go see it with........and its just so trippy to think about it now (btw i saw it with the girl lauren who is freakin' awesome! and she lives in brea too!! yay!) which reminds me!!!

things i blame northern california for:
my being addicted to Grey's Anatomy (why is that i care so much about the people in that damn hospital!!)
me liking 30 seconds to mars ( i mean jared leto for chist sake!!! i dont know what's wrong with me......)
refferring to southern california as socal
refferring to san francisco as the city
knowing almost all of the dj's on about 3 different radio morning shows
falling in love with zucchini
filling my car with random jackets (the weather here is more random then socal i swear!)
freaking other drivers out on the freeway because i'm singing to the radio at the top of my lungs
postsecrets

things i will never do no matter how long i'm up here:
say hella
drink diet coke and enjoy it
smoke a cigarette (everyone and their mother smokes!)
watch an episode of one tree hill
have sex in the dorm bathrooms (lol, dont ask...)

things i have yet to do but can't wait to do!:
exploritorium
alcatraz
eat at every single restaurant in north beach (not in a single day mind you)
shopping spree at amoeba/rasputin
about 50 different concerts i really want to go to
and one more i probably shouldnt talk about on here......

so yeah....i'm going home next week though. promised a few people i'd go see rumors (lol, so if you dont want to run into me dont go there on saturday!) and me and becky and probably others are going to shmimprov! so yeah excited about that. i'm sad i missed the choir concert though....: ( although lauren says that they're coming up here in march which would be AWESOME!!!

which reminds me i have a choir concert next week too! that should definitely be interesting! wish me luck!

:)

fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa fa far better!

2006-10-13T00:19:57Z

i think those are enough fas...hmmmm.....anyway!

random memory number next. "Psycho Killer" by talking heads.

now, before there was Yorke Sebastian Harpo Louise Nemo Reyes the demon kitty my family now owns, there was Binks. Yes, as in Thachery(sp?) Binks from Hocus Pocus. Binks was black short hair kitty who we all loved very much but who was in fact the devil incarnate. He was psycho. and so whenever he would fly by us or do something compltely spastic my family would sing "Psycho-kitty Qu'est-ce que c'est?" you know like the song. and so now whenever i hear the talking heads version i think of Binks

the end

RIP BINKS!

:)

lick it up baby. lick. it. up.

2006-10-05T06:22:15Z

just finished watching heathers....so i'm in a pretty odd mood. i freakin love that movie. ANYWAY! back to my memory journal.

random memory #....twenty something.

some people say that smell is the quickest link to memory. in fact i'm pretty sure its an axe commercial or something. well....for me its songs. whenever i listen to a song i think of a person or a place or a situation. sometimes thats good....other times not so much. anyway to make a long story short (too late) for the next few entries my memories will be tied to a song.

"Living on a Prayer" by Bon Jovi

so even though most people in the 80's were loosing their virginity to this song i, in the 00's, was having completely different experiences. two that stand out the most actually.

firstly, my first trip to vegas. it was a family thing and to tell you the truth when i usually think of this trip i'm not reminded of happy times. in fact there were several occasions where i would rather had been any place else. however, this song erases most of that. it was our first day in the hotel. in fact we had just unpacked. my sister krystal and i were alone in the room, i dont know why, when we hear this band playing outside. it was one of those cheesy cover bands that only played the most annoying songs from the 70's and 80's. lol, they were so bad! but of course nothing better to do, so we went out to the balcony and listened to them for a while. soon living on a prayer starts up. my sister and i start cracking up and before we knew what we were doing (or why) we were leaning over the balcony singing at the top of our lungs. "OHHHHH WE'RE HALF WAY THERE! OHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! LIVING ON A PRAYER!!!" we sounded sooooooooooooo bad but we were so loud that we practicly drowned out the band playing below us. people started looking up, wondering what the hell was going on but we didnt stop until the song was over. hahhaha everyone was so pissed! and i mean that in every sense of the word....i mean it was vegas afterall. so when i hear that horrible song that day always comes to mind.

secondly, and sadly this happened more than once. our weekly trips to shmim...all the way in freaking anaheim hills. none of us could drive so Leah's brother would sometimes take us. i can see it now...us driving down imperial highway, leah's brother in a straw cowboy hat with his friend jack who almost always wore a wife beater in this HUGE freakin' suburban blasting (of course) bon jovi. WE WERE SOOO WHITE TRASH!! lol, it was awesome.

so there's that. anyone else have memories tied to this song? dont hesitate to tell me everything. i'll listen. i always do

: )

words from the great sebastian!

2006-10-01T19:31:14Z

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juuuugufuiriuruguhuhgyu .

- sebastian elijah terrel hondel